Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Stupid Me, Stupid Celiac

I guess I should write something. Its not like I haven’t been doing anything. I’m just a lazy blogger. So I got this really great job working the overnight shift at Walmart. I still have my full time day job. I figured I would work both until I actually started classes this fall. I went to the new job on Wednesday and got my schedule. I did the math. The jobs are over an hour apart, plus neither of them is close to where I live. So with all the commuting and 2 full time jobs, I would be left with 4 hours to eat and sleep each day that I pulled a double shift, which would happen a minimum of 3 times a week.

Friday was supposed to be the first day I worked both shifts at the same time. I was a little irritated, because they gave me two weeks’ notice for my orientation day, but no notice for my new schedule. Couldn’t they have just given that too me when they scheduled the orientation? So I already had several plans scheduled over that weekend. Including girls night with my middle school best friends on Friday and a race in Baltimore on Saturday morning. I wouldn’t even be off of work when it was time for me to pick up my bib for the race, so that was money down the drain. I knew I would have to leave girls night early and I wasn’t happy about that since I hadn’t seen some of them since middle school. But whatever, it’s my pickle, I gotta eat it.

So I was going to go to happy hour for 2 hours then drive an hour and a half to Walmart and work til 7am, sleep, get up and drive to meet my Dad for a Fathers Day dinner and go back to work by 10pm. Sunday night I would work 10pm to 7am, drive straight to my day job, work til 430 and then drive home and sleep for 4 hours and go back to Walmart at 10pm.  Needless to say, I really wasn’t looking forward to this and I realized that I was going to have to quit my day job a whole lot sooner than I had anticipated.

So, cut to 8pm and having fun and I didn’t want to leave. Sooooo, I didn’t. Oh well its just Walmart. I also realized, I don’t need to work an overnight shift anyway. I was only doing that so my mom could watch the (future) baby at nights, but I don’t have a baby right now. AND I already know from calling day care providers to run the numbers for my life plan, that I have to pay for a full week of day care even though I only need a couple hours 3 days a week. They can afford to be picky with infants. They only have so many slots and people fight over them. SO, If I’m already paying for something I’m not using, I can just use it. My mom can pick the baby up from day care when she gets off work and I can sleep normal hours and have a semi-reasonable life schedule. Which means I can work anywhere that is open in the afternoon/evening. Walmart shmalmart.

Fun facts. I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in 2008. I had been put on NSAIDs for half a year, more and more with higher and higher dosages. NSAIDs (Non-steroid anti-inflammatories) can lead to gastrointestinal bleeding after prolonged usage. I knew this and would bring it up to my doctor every time. I knew my pain wasn’t muscular if it was it would ease with inflammation medication. They told me not to worry about it and just kept upping it. They offered me narcotics as well, but I just said No to those. I should have just said No to the other, but I didn’t want to mask the pain, I wanted to fix the pain. I was afraid that at the next specialist they would tell me to go on NSAIDs and then I would have to wait weeks before I could say they weren’t working. Anyway, the bone doctor found a tear in the cartilage in my hip, I had surgery, yada yada yada. More NSAIDs for post-surgical inflammation. And 2 or 3 weeks post-op I’m in the ER with a GI bleed. Yay me!

I had to have an endoscopy and a colonoscopy to find the source of the bleed and ensure that it wasn’t still bleeding and going to kill me or anything. (Clearly I didn’t die) BUT while they were busy looking for things up my poop chute they noticed that all the villi that line my intestines was dead. Womp womp. My mom already had Celiac and I knew all too well what it was and I didn’t want it. I could live off of cheese, beer and bread for the rest of my life and be a happy camper. Two of those things you can’t have and one you shouldn’t… So when he was going over my results, he told me my GI bleed was fine, but did I know what Celiac disease was. I told him that I did and I didn’t ask him to look for that, so he had nothing further to tell me after that question. LOL

Well, of course, he didn’t just say ok, bye bye. He told me that I had it and it gives you a higher risk of cancer and the more you eat the shorter your lifespan is and blah blah blah. So fine. I had no symptoms and he said it was because it was caught so early, but I probably felt like crap and didn’t know it because I was just used to feeling like crap. I gave up the gluten. For months. I never woke up feeling like a spring flower with a new pep in my step or anything else. After a while, I started to get annoyed. I didn’t have intestinal cramping, bloating or anything else that are trademarks of the disease to begin with, so how was I supposed to be overjoyed that I didn’t have them now?

I went back to my regular doc and said I wanted the blood test. (Blood test/intestinal biopsy, Chicken/egg) But whatever, I want another test! So she sent me in for the blood panel and BINGO. I do not have Celiac. I read the actual lab numbers though and not just what the doctors interrupted from them. You have to react to a certain number to be considered positive. I reacted, but I didn’t react to enough to meet that number. Celiac, like many things gets worse over time. I still don’t feel bad. But apparently I have been feeling worse over time. And I have read that when you remove it from your diet and then reintroduce your symptoms get worse. Remember all my crazy diet plans this year. Well, welcome the reintroduction of gluten. And the reaction of full blown Celiac disease.

I still love my wheat filled edibles and libations, but I’m looking at it this way. I managed to get 5 more years to say goodbye to those things that I love over any other food. I’m not going to get upset about it. Maybe it will help me drop a pound or two, also. I ate a croissant on my way to Walmart Wednesday. I figured I had already eaten wheat, so I had a couple beers with dinner. Woke up sick on Thursday. Went to girls night, decided I wanted some fried chicken livers/okra and I had the crawfish etouffee, which is unfortunately made with a roux (A flour and fat base). After I decided to be a No Call No Show at Wally World, I ended up staying out until 130 or something. I drove out to my moms and got there around 230. I remembered that I could now go to that race because I wasn’t working. But I had no running clothes with me. So I ran into a different Walmart and bought a crappy oversized pair of Dr. Scholls sneakers and some crappy looking and feeling running clothes. Went out to the parking lot and typed the address into the GPS and drove straight to Baltimore, got there at 4 something, texted a running friend. I’ll call him the Dead President and asked him to bang on my car window and wake me up when he got there, curled up on my dogs bed and went to sleep.

Never did it dawn on me that he had NO IDEA, where I parked. LMAO. So thankfully I reset my alarm on my phone. Except, I forgot to change it to everyday instead of weekdays. Magically I woke up to see that I had missed calls, messages, and 18 texts. The last being, “okay, I’m putting my phone in my car now.” LOL I jumped out of the car and managed to only wake up 30 minutes later than planned. Got my bib, took a 5 hour energy shot and walked around with the Dead President (tDP). After an hour or two, my stomach started cramping up and quite frankly I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Stood up, stretched, sat down, laid down. Nothing was making me better. Went to the port a john for no reason. Twice.

Anyway, race is getting ready to start tDP goes to his area and it dawns on me that my mom thinks I’m getting off of work now and will be home in about 20 minutes. So I run to the car and leave her a message. “Had a race. I’m in Baltimore. Be home in a couple Hours. I’ll explain later.” Ran back to where I was supposed to be. Race starts. Its super hot, full sun, I feel like crap, getting worse. I run a mile and say, Fuck it. I turn around and walk back to the start. Sit on a picnic table for a couple minutes and cry a little. I do that now. (although I’m still Chipper, I cry at everything. I can’t even explain the premise of Bride Wars without crying) Get off my picnic table and walk to the finish line and watch the worlds fastest man, ok probably not, but he was stupid fast. He set a new course record and was a solid 5 or 10 minutes ahead of anyone else. I waited for tDP to finish then we sat on the grass and drank beer while listening to the band. I was starting to feel better, so it was nice.

PS, that Reds Apple Ale is crap. Its like Miller Lite with a hint of apple. I hate Miller Lite. I had to wait an extra 30 minutes to leave. It turns out, I got there before the race was setup and parked behind the start line, so they built the barriers around me while I slept. LMAO After I got in my car I looked at my phone. My mom thought my message was cryptic and didn’t hear the I’m at a race part. So she called, texted, and facebooked me. I guess she thought I had been kidnapped or something. When I left I decided to drive to my Dads since I was already in Maryland. We went and got crabs. The waiter looked like a scruffy Channing Tatum. Yum. We sat on a floating dock and picked crabs, I drank ginger ale to sooth my stomach. I didn’t seem to get a second kick of Celiac from the 2 beers I had, which surprises me a little. After lunch we went home and I took an hour nap. Got up and drank some more water and played pickle ball in the yard. Filled out my college acceptance thing and mailed off my deposit and left for my mom’s around 730. Got home after 9 and crashed after being up for essentially 38 hours.


I went out for sushi on Monday thinking I would be safe and healthy. I was super sick again this morning and it took me a good hour to realize that soy sauce is made from wheat. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous. You would think it was made from soy and a couple of brands actually are. So that’s it, no more wheat for me, ever. L I’m sad, but not depressed like I was in 2008. Sadly, even though I know how to go gluten free and what odd ball foods contain gluten, I have to relearn it, because I just don’t remember when I should.

Awesome

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